It's amazing to me that each day can bring out so many different feelings and emotions. These days that are filled with love and laughter, exhaustion and exasperation. I sometimes find myself wondering how I got to this wonderful place in life, but I'm quickly reminded that it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with God's grace.
I love my boys very much, but there are times (sometimes minutes, sometimes hours, sometimes entire days) where I wonder how I'm going to get through. Times when I know I should be laying on the floor playing with them, but the selfish side of me takes over and all I want to do is putter around on the internet and read about how to be a great mom (or wife or whatever). But reading about these things doesn't make me a good mom. Slowing down and spending time with my boys - reading to them, building "big, tall towers" over and over again, wrestling with them, changing their diapers, feeding them - this is what makes me a good mom. But I struggle. Daily I struggle to be the mother they need me to be.
I feel like I've been struck over and over again this week with how much my boys need me to be present to them and how much I need them to help me to heaven. All the seemingly small things I do for them help me die to myself and serve Him more perfectly.
I've read several posts this week that have really made me think about my life, and about my role as a wife and mother in particular. Jenny at Mama Needs Coffee articulates so well this season of life. I could really relate to everything she said. And Msgr. Charles Pope sure gave me a lot to think about with this recent post. And, finally, Dwija over at House Unseen introduced me to this beautiful depiction of Jesus with his mother. I can't get over the beauty of that picture. It's such a beautiful reminder of how important this work of motherhood really is.